PTSD
by kevin the bird
Summary: PTSD was something that still affected Red Forman, even years after the war. It never really went away. Sure, it got easier to deal with over the years, but he still woke up from nightmares. He still got night sweats and he still got anxiety in crowded places, much to his embarrassment.
1. Chapter 1

PTSD was something that still affected Red Forman, even years after the war. It never really went away. Sure, it got easier to deal with over the years, but he still woke up from nightmares. He still got night sweats and he still got anxiety in crowded places, much to his embarrassment.

That night marked the first nightmare in a long time. He had fallen asleep a couple of hours before with his wife resting her head on his chest. He still had his arm wrapped protectively around her when he startled himself awake, letting a yelp out and waking Kitty up as well. Beads of sweat were rolling down his face, his chest was heaving up and down while he tried to catch his breath. He couldn't remember what the dream had been about, all he knew was that it had something to do with the war.

"Red?" Kitty asked groggily. "Are you okay, sweetheart?" she asked as she came too and realized how shaken Red was.

"I'm fine," Red said, trying to brush everything off so he didn't worry Kitty. Kitty sat up so she could get a better look at her husband, who still had sweat running down his face. He looked like whatever he had been dreaming about had really shaken him.

"Was it another nightmare?" she asked softly. Red stayed silent for a few seconds and those few seconds spoke to Kitty more than anything he could ever say. She knew he still dealt with PTSD. She had become accustomed to it. Not just because she was a nurse, but because her husband still dealt with it religiously. Because the walls in the Forman house where thin, Eric had heard the yelp from his father and he knew immediately what it was from. He knew Red dealt with PTSD. He also knew how hard it was for his father to admit to people that the war had had such a big effect on him and he worried about Red, so he got out of bed and walked to his parent's room, softly knocking. He then let himself in.

"Is everything okay?" he asked. Kitty's head immediately turned to her son and she smiled at the teenaged boy.

"Everything's fine, sweetheart," she replied. "Go back to bed." Eric nodded his head, knowing that it was best to listen to his mother. He closed the door and went back to bed.

When Red knew that Eric was back in his room, he sat up in bed and rested his head in his hands.

"It never gets easier," he said in a shaky voice. Kitty's heart broke at the confession. His nightmares usually didn't affect him this bad, which told her that this one was particularly bad. She then crawled into his lap and straddled his legs. She pulled him into a tight hug, not speaking a single word. He wrapped his arms around her waist and his emotions started flooding to the surface. He nudged his face into her neck as she rocked him back and fourth, like she did when her kids where little and they where upset about something. He didn't even try to hold his tears back. It only made dealing with his PTSD even harder trying to act like he was some macho guy who wasn't affected by PTSD.

"It's okay, sweetheart," Kitty said soothingly as she continued to rock Red back and fourth. Red continued to cry and Kitty stayed straddling his lap while he did so, knowing all he needed was for her just to be there for him and nothing more. No more than a few minutes passed as they stayed in said position until Red pulled himself together enough to pull away from his wife. When he did so, Kitty smiled sympathetically at her husband as she cupped his face with both hands and wiped away his tears with her thumbs. "I love you so much," she said. "You know that, right? Nothing will ever change how much I love you." A smile appeared on Red's face at that comment and Kitty's smile widened. "Come here, Penguin," Kitty said, reminding Red of how he proposed to his wife. She leaned in to her husband and kissed him on the lips lovingly. Red wrapped his arms around his wife's waist again and kissed her back. He then pulled away and gave her a look he only gave his wife.

"I love you," he said while Kitty unstraddled him and sat directly next to him. They both leaned up against the many pillows as Red wrapped his arm around Kitty's shoulders while she rested her head in the crook of his shoulder.

"I love you too, sweetie," she said as she cuddled happily into Red's side, the heat from his body putting her slowly back to sleep. He kissed the temple of her head and both of them fell back asleep, forgetting the entire thing the next morning.


	2. Chapter 2

Not very many people knew about Red Forman's PTSD. He had managed to keep it secret from his kids and close friends. He didn't want to keep it away from his kids; he just didn't want to scare them. But his symptoms came at times where he couldn't always control them, like in huge crowds. That day was one of those times. Christmas shopping always meant big crowds and crowds where a trigger for him.

Walking through the department store they where in, the crowd didn't bother Red at first. It was when he started to realize how many people where in the store and how hard it would be to get out if something where to happen. Beads of sweat started to appear on his forehead and he gripped Kitty's hand, which he happened to be holding when his PTSD symptoms started to appear. Kitty noticed the change in her husband, particularly how hard Red was squeezing her hand. She looked up at him and noticed the beads of sweat on his face and knew immediately what was going on. She grabbed a hold of her five-year-old daughter's hand and looked down at her.

"Laurie, sweetie, grab your brother's hand and follow Mommy," she said a bit hurriedly as she guided her entire family to a quiet corner of the store they where in. Laurie complied with Kitty's request and followed her mother. Kitty stood in front of her husband and softly started talking to him, trying to get him to pay attention to only her so he would calm down.

"Red, honey," she said as she placed both hands on Red's arms, rubbing them soothingly. "You're okay. Just pay attention to me. Listen to my voice," she added. She knew how much crowds affected Red and she didn't want to make this any worse by trying to get him out of the store. She knew that the best way to deal with Red's PTSD was to calm him down enough before he walked into the crowd again. "You're going to be alright, sweetheart. Just look at me and listen to my voice. Don't pay attention to anything else," she continued. Red zoned in on his wife. This wasn't a common thing for the couple, but it had happened before and what his wife was doing got him through his anxiety attack. Red let out the air in his lungs he hadn't realized he was holding and his heart beat slowed down in turn. "That's good. Keep breathing, sweetie," Kitty said as she smiled and continued to soothingly rub Red's arms. Red continued to breath, the attack soon subsiding.

Both Forman kids just watched their parents, unsure of what was going on. Eric was too young to know what Red was dealing with, but he knew it was an on going problem. His mom had told him that memories and dreams that Red didn't want kept returning - that was about all he could understand. Laurie knew and understood a little bit more, but neither Red or Kitty wanted to scare her so they didn't talk about it much. Laurie was a little freaked about the whole ordeal so she stood back, but Eric walked over to his mother and pulled on the skirt she was wearing. When she looked down at him, he put his arms up like he wanted her to pick him up. She figured Red was stable enough for her to do it, so she picked him up. He then outstretched his arms to his father. Eric was a mommy's boy, but he also wanted to make Red happy. He loved his father and wanted his approval. Red smiled at him and took Eric into his arms.

"I'm okay, Eric," Red said softly, hoping what happened didn't scare Eric too bad. Kitty smiled at the interaction between father and son and looked around for her daughter.

"Come here, sweetie," she said as she outstretched her hand to Laurie, who took it and stepped closer to her mother. She stayed close to her mother's side and Kitty wrapped her arm around the young girl. Red turned his attention from his three-year-old to his little girl and smiled at her reassuringly. Laurie smiled back a little sheepishly.

"Everything will be okay. I'm okay, Kitten," Red said to his daughter. Laurie nodded her head and her smile grew. Kitty smiled and looked down at her daughter, who was still standing close to her side. She rubbed the arm her hand was resting on and Laurie rested her head against her mother's body in return.

"Lets get out of here," Kitty said as she looked up at her husband. "Do you think you can make it out, honey?" Red looked around at the now dispersed crowd a bit nervously. He then slowly nodded his head. "I'll be right here, Red," she added as she looked at Red reassuringly. "Now give me a kiss," she said as she moved her arm from Laurie's shoulders and cupped her husband's face. She then stood on her tippy toes and kissed her husband lovingly. "I love you so much and I'm so proud of you." Red just looked at Kitty like he was the luckiest man alive to have someone that puts up with all of his baggage from the war. "Don't ever forget that."

"Thank you," he said softly. He moved Eric to his right hip and grabbed Kitty's hand with his left. "For everything." Kitty just smiled up at her husband and then looked at her daughter, grabbing her hand before the happy family walked out of the department store.


End file.
